Funny how fast time flies and how much things change in such a small amount of time. I remember last year I was dreading the month of august. Hating every day that went by because I was about to face a long, dreaded goodbye, AND the beginning/the end of my college career. Thinking about it, brings a tear to my eye…. because it pains me to have to remember myself being in such a sad, vulnerable state. I was lost, in love, and confused. I had different, much bigger… outlandish plans set for myself. Looking back I wish I could tell myself, “if you only you knew, that none of those plans would work. You’re wasting your time.” Sigh*
now, I’m grateful for all that change, change that will only serve for the better. What mattered to me back then, only brought pain and misery to my life. Who’s to say I still don’t feel miserable? but I’m not unhappy. I’m happy I am rid of the negativity that surrounded me and made me lose complete sight of the beautiful being I really am. It’s gone now. The mean, manipulative entity is gone.
It’s time to change, and it’s time to move on. As I lay myself down to sleep, in my own cold bed, all I can do is ponder and ponder until I shut my eyes and wake up the next morning. Yes, I’m still lost, and confused, but I least I know where I stand, I have clearer and better understanding of who I am, what I stand for, what I want, what I don’t want, and WHO I do and don’t want in my life. I’m moving forward, and this time I’m ok with time passing. Why? because within time, good things will come to me. Patience is a virtue, but it’s key, and I’m being patient. And, only time can heal a broken heart…… and guess what.
Slowly, but surely… I’m getting there.