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To my support system April 11, 2013

I want to dedicate this post to my amazing support system. I never really knew how much I have impacted people’s lives in a positive way, because they have all been coming through for me these past few months. If it was not for them, I don’t know in what state of mind I would be in right now. It is due to my biggest supporters that I am doing┬á‘fine’ right now. If I could, I would name each of them and thank them individually but, literally, there have been too many to count. I love and appreciate each and every one of them. I didn’t even know I had that many fans! Suddenly I’ve gotten messages in my inbox of people just saying the sweetest things ­čÖé and thanking me for being there for some at some point in their lives. Also little things like, “I miss your laugh and how you brighten up the room with your personality.”

It’s the little things that count!

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It’s been rough, but the world does not stop for my sorrows. April 10, 2013

Filed under: Dating life,The healing process — dsahagun89 @ 9:35 pm
Tags: , , ,

How do I start this with out sounding pathetic? Starting one of these is always the hardest part, but I’ve been meaning to do this for a while now. Well! here goes nothing…

a week ago, my boyfriend of 9 months, and I, broke up. There. it’s out there, I said it, and now I’m blogging about it…but here’s why.┬áThis breakup has probably been the most painful experience I’ve had to experience in my young life. Words cannot even express how broken up I am inside about this. He was who I thought was going to be my future husband, and possibly the father of my children…I loved him that much. We talked future plans, and even procedeed on to executing these plans of moving away together. It’s amazing how much you can fall for a person, in just 9 months. Those 9 months were life-changing, and I mean that in a good way and a bad way. A lot of stuff can happen in 9 months… if you think about, it’s how most of us are even living on this earth. So, 9 months can seem like nothing at first, but when you really think about it, it can REALLY change your life┬áforever, and this is exactly what this relationship did┬áto me.

Ok, moving forward to the here, and the now. We do not talk, I’m broken, we tried the ‘friends’ thing but I could not do it. I still love him very much, but he wasn’t right for me. This breakup, unfortunately, needed to happen. It became very unhealthy, and I didn’t recognize my own morals anymore. It was really damaging my well-being, the beautiful person I used to be. So in the next few days, weeks, maybe months, I will be writing about my healing process. The next few entries will be steps taken in the right direction towards the healing process. I want so desperately to heal. Why do I need to publish it? well, I guess I don’t have to, but wouldn’t it be nice if this helped someone avoid the pain I am feeling now?

I will not cry anymore. I will most definitely not back down from gaining my confidence back. I want to record my progress because someone suggested that writing about it would help me, and sure it enough it does. Just by writing this, suddenly I feel an overwhelming sense of relief in my chest. As some of you may already know, writing can help de-stress immensely.

So no, this is not a pitty party. I don’t need that, I’m over that phase. I WANT to better myself.
THIS, right here, is my healing process.